Yes, I know I haven’t been posting much. I also had this 50 post challenge I was adamant on pursuing. Then stuff happens. Continue Reading…
It’s been months since I’ve actually posted something to my own website, that I pay for. You figure something would’ve clicked in my head like,
“Hey dumbass, you know you’re wasting money by not doing anything.”
But my only retort to that is hey, I’m still human. And by being human I still get burned out the way humans do sometimes. My friend Annie debate the other week about achievement. It started out with me telling her all the ways that I trick myself into being productive and moving my goals forward. She came out with the same thing I hear all the time.
“If you really want something, you’ll do everything to make it happen,”
…or something like that.
Of course my stubborn ass goes off about my energy levels and bad food, sleep deprivation, and the fact that I could want something so bad but still be ‘physically’ incapable of doing anything. I’m also a big believer in your environment stimulating your work ethic especially if it’s a creative endeavor. I don’t know about you, but I can’t be creative or motivated when my work area looks Robin Williams had a Jumanji party in it.
I’ve just summed it up as: easy to say, a little more complex as shit to do.
Yeah, that’s not very Zen of me.
But I must admit, that conversation stirred the stick in my gumbo to get me to quit making excuses and do something. Couple that with the fact that you can only take so long sitting around watching Burn Notice, or Psych, or whatever the fuck is available on my Roku.
So here I am, finally making a post. But in making this post I went ahead and decided to use a new design layout, to go along with a brand new motivation and of course the phoenix-rising-from-the-ashes metaphor.
I’ve had this site for three years now, and looking back I may have been way over my head. The ambition was there, but the experience was sorely lacking. Glad to say, I have some experience now.
Here are some problems that I’ve noticed with this site.
I had a classic case of doing too much.
- In an attempt to gain as much traffic as possible, I attempted to be everything to everybody. I planned my site out like a magazine with different topics of interests of varying degrees. Now for a team, this wouldn’t be a problem, but as a one-man show keeping up and writing for each topic just wasn’t happening. I just happen to be the type that’s interested in everything. I was also one of those kids that went through 6-9 phases a year during high school.
- Another problem is the design of my site had me coding more in my main framework to get posts to look a certain way. Every post had a little bit of HTML or CSS included. Definitely not a streamlined way of getting and idea out. Sometimes it would take me a few days to write one post because of all the technical hangups.
- Eventually this site became more of a chore with the added nonsense of social media and general marketing and networking. And that’s usually when my inner bully comes out and says, “Fuck you!” while holding out both middle fingers.
And then it all stopped.
Well I’m back now, and with a stronger drive to make shit happen. The last few months of being sick and feeling like I’m on my death bed does a lot to make a guy want to do something utterly fantastic before he dies. And that is what propels me now: my pending mortality. I realize I can’t be Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. Humans don’t live forever, and if there are some immortals out there…. You guys are assholes. *sigh
Here’s a principle that I keep in my head at all times: Keep Shit Simple!
Another one is: Purge And Burn!
So with those two principles in mind I’ve applied them to this site redesign.
As much as I love to call myself a JOAT (Jack Of All Trades) I’ve decided to limit what the focuses of my site are:
- To show off the work I make as an artist
- To write and discuss topics that come to me organically
When I say organically, I mean whatever’s on my mind or means something to me at the time. It’s easier to write when you’re in it. The words flow easier in that state. Compare that to having seven different topics and having to find something to talk about in each per month.
Now I know that might create more topics to talk about, but by not putting myself in the situation to force a post about a specific topic out of my butt, I can write more naturally about whatever falls out of my butt. Was that too graphic? Oh well.
This new design layout also allows me to not have to code so damn much and just focus on content which is a big plus. Now I won’t have as much customization as I once had with the Thesis theme for WordPress, but eh, that’s just a small downside.
So I hope you guys are ready for this new year. I have a file folder full of ideas/seeds and a few film projects already underway.
Also in the near future, watch out because I’m finally coming to YouTube. I have a few web series concepts I want to get off my chest, we’ll see what happens.
I’m also looking to start an army of superheroes. Details later.
P.s. If anyone finds any bugs or broken links around here, please let me know. I’m still adapting all my older posts to this new layout. But then again my site will always be “under construction.”
image: 241/365 by kennymatic
I have to admit, I am a very impulsive person. I do things as they come to me, and if I like something I do it over and over and over again. My sense of self-awareness and autonomy rivals that of Johnny Five from the Short Circuit movies. I tend to get distracted and suckered in to something that I forget everything around me and just flow with what’s in front of me.
Of course by now you realize I’m attempting to make an elaborate excuse for justifying not posting in the last couple of weeks. Shame on me. Well here’s the skinny.
Six months ago I established this domain for my own personal amusement. The original plan was to showcase the creative work I do to friends, family, and people who would pay me money for doing work for them. So yea, basically my online freelance portfolio.
I had no intention of even starting a blog because at the time it just seemed very emo to me.
Oh, I just need a place to talk about my feeling and let everybody know…
Until I realized that most of the sites I visited often all had “powered by wordpress” or “so-and-so theme” in the footer.
So I googled “wordpress” and found out it was a blogging platform, and yes, I know I’m not cool enough to update myself on online trends. Probably because I have a job that eats my soul on a daily basis and the only thing I use the internet for is MySpace and pRon. Maybe a few other sites but I’m just keepin’ it simple. I also just found out what RSS is and what an aggregator does… don’t flame me.
My constant indecisiveness on content, a redundant 9-5, and making time to just be happy stunted the growth of my developing this site. That and cognitive dissonance. (Google it.)
So here I am now finally launching and still feeling like something’s missing. But I figure, I’m never going to start if I don’t start. Just do it! Work out the details later. Procrastination and trying to get everything perfect was kicking my ass. (I actually wrote a post about procrastination just to get me to do something.)
Thus, I’ve decided to take the ready-fire-aim approach and begin, not with a complete site, but a site with growth potential. From a young baby bird to a snarky pterodactyl. (Reverse evolution… oops.) Well, you get the point.
One Purpose – Several Passions
I don’t exactly have a niche to speak about, but I do have several things I’m passionate about which you will see. The site serves a twofold purpose:
1) As an outlet for my creativity in the form of film, music, and art; and
2) Writing about Personal Development, Psychology, Human Behavior and Sex (and maybe more)…
…all conveyed through my charming persona. Ha.
Entertainment and information are the basics and the underlying theme is “Potential” with me as the guinea pig.
Don’t Mind The Potholes
Building this site is a learning curve so let me know if something isn’t working properly. You may probably notice odd things happening while you’re cruising around the blog, don’t worry about it—it’s just me tweaking or adding a few things.
I encourage anyone to drop me a note. I love meeting new people.
Enjoy yourself while you’re here. Take a look around, read a bit, be confused by the dichotomy, and Angry Monkey t-shirts are available in the lobby.
There used to be a point in time when I considered myself very tech-savvy when it came to designing website layouts and structures, but upon installing CS3 (yes I know it’s historic by now) and going through all the programs just to play around, I realized… I DON’T KNOW SHIT!!
Fireworks is foreign to me (though it seems to incorporate both Dreamweaver and Photoshop skill sets) like vegetables to a fat kid. Spending most of my off day to go through tutorials made me forget what the hell site I’m attempting to make in the first place. It finally dawned on me that my focus isn’t a glamorous layout or super cool widgetry or ultra high tech functionality, but content. Pure, unadulterated content. That’s it. (But still make it stylish. Tee-hee.)
My creativity, eccentricities, and random-ass-whatevers is what is going to differentiate me and claim my uniqueness, not the animated drop-down menus of flash or incorporation of the coolest CSS tricks. So in saying, welcome to my world. If all goes well, this site will be updated consistently with my content. Not really sure what it is I want to convey, I know I have something of value to express to the world. (If someone could make a complete website on the joys of LEGO’s, then I’m sure I can at least get one person to read my posts.)
So in closing, let me thank you in advance for allowing me to take these precious minutes of your life for the sake of humoring me. I appreciate it.